Friday, October 22, 2010

Dispatch from the Cruise

Having just finished my daily intake of roast beef and cauliflower, I received this missive from Jack, whose exact positioning in the Caribbean remains unknown:

22 October 2010

Nick-

Things are going swimmingly on the high seas.  Frankie is in good spirits and has found great company with a seventy year old woman named Millie. A recent widower from Kansas City, she has agreed to partner with him in the line dancing class that occurs between 1630 and 1700, just before the early bird dinner.

Of high interest to you is my besting of Frankie in the shuffle board tournament.  What a thrill victory brings!  Ever the good sport, Frankie tipped his hat towards me after a a firm handshake and a wily wink.  Between the patchwork class that begins at 3PM for which I have signed up, I'm going to sneak onto the court for a few practice shuffles.  (I certainly hope the tournament officials don't happen upon this blog post as I cannot risk a penalty.)

You see, the early evening could be a rocky one indeed, I must admit.  Sponsored by Saucony, Jimmy (pictured below on the left), who hails from New Mexico and rides the good ship once a year with his wife of forty years, is the reigning champion of the last twelve years, and also my next opponent.  I would be dishonest if I did not concede a  smidgen of trepidation.running through my tummy for Jimmy is a formidable adversary, indeed.  So keep me in your thoughts at 5PM when the shit is destined to go down and I create a ruckus.  Someone might become an appetizer for the sharks!

Otherwise, life is grand on the seas and, staring past the ping pong room and the geriatric yoga practitioners, I can now, with confidence, posit myself within the ranks of the great explorers of yesteryear.  Encyclopedia Brown, poise your pen, ink the tip, and be ready to posit me, Mister Jack Turner, alongside Mr. Christopher Columbus and his fraternity of great explorers in the annals of history.

In Cartagena I trust,

Jack

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