I've taken my first day off in two weeks. I spent the day soul searching on the beach, playing in the waves, and existentially questioning my very existence. Wow! Not really your typical day off!
In NYC, it is my habit to wash away these ruminations at the Ear Inn or Pao. But here in Santa Marta, the only "local" I can really imagine is the strip joint down the road, The Pink Flamingo, and I can't really in good faith, health, or conscience qualify it as such, despite its many diverse offerings.
In any event, the lack of work time has led to some pretty fucking serious self-examinations--thanks to Chris Smith, I'm comfortable being a reality show. To the point, it was somewhere between my second tussle with the playful ocean, an pleasant afternoon nap in the shade, and a scolding by Eva in Paris that I realized something--I would make a sweet boyfriend.
Here are the main reasons why:
(1) I'm on production frequently so you wouldn't have to see me and thus wouldn't get annoyed by me. Getting annoyed with your partner can really be a thorn in the side of a healthy relationship.
(2) If you need your space you can always send me to the bar. They know me there.
(3) I more than likely wouldn't stray as I'm certainly not getting any younger.
(4) I have gray hair which points, at least in a superficial way, to me being mature.
(5) Assuming you have a mother I can entertain her with stories from weird places.
(6) I live in an apartment. Right now though I'm living in a house that feels, again, like The Real World. So if you enjoy reality television, you'd essentially be dating a cast member! How sweet is that!
(7) If you're insecure about eating, I will finish your cheeseburger for you.
So ladies, be you single or taken, chew on this for a minute or two and get back to me. If you have referrals please email them to me with pictures (both head shots and full body shots--think casting). If you can think of more reasons why I would make a sweet boyfriend, please send them to me and I'll weed through them.
Until tomorrow...
